Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
