Please, let me fuck your mom
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
