Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
