Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
