.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
