So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
