I would do horrible things to your vagina.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad