found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
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you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
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I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.