I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.