I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
