whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
We need to get me chipped asap
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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