We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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