What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
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the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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