i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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