she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
