I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize