Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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