He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize