I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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