LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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