I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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