I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize