STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
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