Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
