I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize