no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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