can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
