Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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