You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize