You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
