first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
