I want to make a zoo with you.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Sext me about skeletons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize