Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
so let's talk penis.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
