Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
