Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
