I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
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I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
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STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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