There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
