Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.

Fav 19 7286 790
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(208): View more from Idaho

I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.

Fav 28 6182 1302
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(716): View more from New York

You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70

Fav 13 6567 1356
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy

Fav 31 6006 1572
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(954): View more from Florida

We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.

Fav 4 4139 1048
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(619): View more from California

why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu

Fav 6 2068 1551
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(904): View more from Florida

stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.

Fav 5 2202 801
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(307): View more from Wyoming

I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.

Fav 2 1290 731
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(567): View more from Ohio

A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore

Fav 0 13 57
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