Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
