New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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