Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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