gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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