Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
