My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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