the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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