every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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