she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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