I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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