Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize