Have you finally orgasmed yet?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
