I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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