dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
