The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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