I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Randomize
