don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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