You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize