and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
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