Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
