I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
