You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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