Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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