i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize