Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
