return my video game
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
