oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize